by Cari Cole
A well-known recording artist once said to me in an interview that your career is never anyone else’s fault – but yours. You are solely to blame, no matter what it looks like from the outside. He said, if it’s not working – then there is something in you that needs examining or fixing. Hard stuff, but I got what he was saying – the “we create our reality stuff.” But I think he took it a step further. He actually meant that you can only go as far as you can allow, and then you will sabotage success from coming to you. People have limits and barriers to success. A career in entertainment is particularly susceptible.
Truth is, no one’s going to tell you about the elephant (or elephants) in your room if you can’t see ‘em. Nobody wants to deliver bad news. Except me. I will tell you the truth. (That’s why one of my friend calls me the Mama Lion!) And then I’ll show you how to fix it. That’s what I love to do. Because I love artists (am one myself) and I “get” the artistic journey. It evolves, like you do. And you don’t have to be the most amazing singer (we all know great songs trump great voices), or the most amazing songwriter (a great performance can even trump that). But you do have to shed your skin and offer up something real, raw, and authentic. That’s art – and that gets standing ovations (but not if you’re singing off pitch – there are limits.) No one’s going to tell you about your elephants, and it could cost you your career.
So what elephants are in your room?
Elephant #1 Ms. Lazy
Some artists I know are just lazy. They sit in the hammock all day and dream about being a rock star. They never do the work. Once I point it out, they either get serious or give it up.
Elephant #2 The Perfectionist
Every day she practices her speech at the Grammy’s. She primps and preens and imagines herself on the big stage. But she’s so afraid she’s not good enough that she hides herself away. Nothing’s ever good enough for her so she often just stays in her cave.
Elephant #3 Speedy Gonzalez
He literally pushed me to get to the record exec. I brought an exec to see one of my artists. The exec had to jet out to another show right after, but the artist was so desperate he pushed people out of the way as he ran after him. He never realized this kind of energy repels people. He never saw the elephant in his room.
Elephant #4 The Narcissist
This elephant is the prettiest one in the room, but the most sensitive. Everything is a painful reflection of her (from her early wounds, she is so insecure.) She steps on everyone’s toes and then complains about how everyone is hurting her. She doesn’t understand why no one likes her.
Elephant #5 The Egoist
You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Song Is About You. This guy’s own image of himself is so inflated he doesn’t see reality. He really thinks he’s the hottest ticket in town. He won’t show any flaws, so no one can relate to him.
Elephant #6 The Worrier
She worries about everything and then she can’t relax enough to perform. She actually lets her mind run away with her and sabotages her own best efforts.
Elephant #7 The Fool
He really thinks that he is unlucky. That for some reason even the universe is against him. So he doesn’t believe in himself or invest good recordings to represent his music. Everyone thinks he is a fool.
When you first see the elephant (or elephants) it can be alarming. But once you face them, you can begin the process of getting them out of your room. Often we have to fall apart to grow to our next best steps. Exposing the weak spots is how we get stronger. Shoo, elephants!
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©2012 Cari Cole, Vocal Mag, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
